I am a wife of 9 years, a mama of 3, and have battled insecurity my entire life.
To paint a picture, here’s one of the very small handful of childhood memories I have:
I was 6 years old and needed to use the bathroom at school. Because I was too afraid to raise my hand and ask, I had an accident right in my chair. When the bell rang, I got up like nothing had happened, though my seat was sopping wet. When the teacher looked at me, I told her it must have been wet when I sat down.
Insecurity is defined as a lack of confidence. It brings with it fear in ordinary situations. It causes a voice in my head that declares all types of lies. And I do not know if insecurity was something I was born with or a result of outward circumstances and experiences. I only know that it began very early on in life.
My battle ebbed and flowed over the years following this incident. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost, but as an adult, the control my insecurity had over me began to have severe side effects.
I lost faith in myself, in friendship, in my calling. I truly believed I would fail at everything I tried.
I felt I would never be who I wanted so desperately to become. The certainty I used to have in who I was and where I was going began to dissipate. I lost my voice. I lost myself.
When Sseko came along, it took one beautiful video for me to feel like I was meant to be a part. Did I believe I would succeed? No. I definitely did not. But a dream had been planted, and I had to give myself a chance to be part of this world-changing group of women who were stepping up, daring to bridge the gap between what was and what could be, and making a real impact in our world.
Since becoming a Fellow, I have experienced beautiful growth in how I see myself, in the words I speak to myself, and in my interactions with others. I found my voice, passion, and a renewed confidence in where I am going. Has my insecurity raised its ugly head over the last year and a half? Of course!
Sseko Designs is a direct sales company, and direct sales can be a very taboo topic in certain circles. This has hindered my confidence in sharing what I do with the passion and excitement I feel internally. I fear judgment, misunderstanding, and rejection. And I have experienced judgment, misunderstanding, and rejection. There have been times that I’ve felt like giving up. But there has never been a time where I have felt like giving up was a real option. I am here for the long-haul, a Sseko Fellow dedicated to changing the world and my community one day at a time.
Sseko IS a direct sales company. But we are so very different in so many ways. We are not only different but dedicated to re-defining what direct sales means. My confidence in who we are and what we are doing has only grown in my time as a Fellow, causing me to plant my feet firmly, strengthen my wonder woman stance, and share our story with even more fervency.
We are a sisterhood in the USA. We value one another, celebrate each other’s success, dive deep into who we are and who we want to be, and do life together. If you yourself have struggled with insecurity, you might have issues with dancing in front of other people. That’s me! It takes a while for me to feel safe enough to let go and not feel uncomfortable doing so. But I danced in Uganda! I danced without hesitancy. I was loved, celebrated, and safe. This is what I found through my friendships at Sseko.
We are also a sisterhood with our co-workers in Uganda, mutually inspired by one another, eager to know one another, and regularly cheer one another forward. We know each of us wouldn’t be where we are today without the other. We join hearts and hands to dream big together.
This April, I was part of the Sseko Fellows trip to Uganda. Eleven of us had this honor. While in Uganda, I shared meals with women who have walked roads I’ve never had to walk. I experienced hugs that held so much meaning. We traded stories of pain and loss. We encouraged one another, prayed together, hoped together.
The women who make our products are REAL women. They have struggles, hobbies, dreams, and fears. I was so surprised to find out my Sseko Sister Teddy chose me because I was married and was a mother! Those are two big dreams of hers, and she found inspiration in a simple part of my everyday existence. She wanted to know my story as much as I wanted to know hers.
Sseko leadership oozes integrity, transparency, and dedication. Our leadership speaks about the hard issues, the uncomfortable issues. They are not afraid to take a stand, speak truth, and DO something. I am inspired on a very regular basis to be a better me, to take more notice, to care deeply, and to dream bigger.
Sseko is a place of where we believe in equality, justice, and empowerment globally. Sseko is a place of belonging, where everyone has a seat at the table.
And the best part of Sseko Designs? Real change has happened, is happening, and will continue to happen through our work here and my Ugandan sisters’ continued steadfastness.
To wrap up, here are 3 essential things I have learned through my journey as a Sseko Fellow.
1. We all have a story to tell.
Look around at the people you happen upon in everyday life. Ask questions. Initiate friendships. Don’t be afraid to share a piece of yourself and be known. I have so many new friendships now because I got out there and began to try.
2. You have a voice.
You matter. Do not give into the lies you might be hearing daily. The “you’re not good enough”, “you will always fail”, “you have nothing to offer.” We all have a seat at the table, and you yourself have something unique to bring. I have learned to love myself as I am, as I was created. I may never be the life of the party or have a million best friends. But I have my own unique beauty and personality that makes me “me.”
3. Choose to believe the best in others.
It is so life-giving to be surrounded by people who believe the best in you, but be committed to be a person that chooses to believe the best. Our world has so much darkness. It can become the norm to see the worst, believe the worst, and we can become lost in a never-ending cycle of cynicism. There is good out there, and it is so so freeing to train our minds to go to the wonderful, the beautiful, the extraordinary in the midst of the gruel and grime of the everyday.
Wherever YOU are, know you were supposed to be here in this moment, reading these words. You are enough, you have a voice, and you deserve to be known. Do not let insecurity be your ruler. Do not let it dictate where your life goes. I may never be free from the battle, but I can still move forward.
I go insecure. I go afraid. I will fail again, but I know failure does not define me.
Failure is not fatal.
If you would like to step into the opportunity that Kara has as a Sseko Fellow, we would love to talk to you!
As a Sseko Fellow, you’ll be part of an incredibly supportive group of women, you’ll get to style and sell stunning fashionable products that make a difference in the lives of women across the globe, and you’ll earn an income for yourself and your family.